Siege of Exterrea

Rizzi: Sweet Mother of All the Gods That's a Lot of Bugs!

Before I can whip the ol’ Bolting Buck into the ultimate guild hall, it’s gotta be a half-decent bar first. To do that, we gotta have fresh food and barrels of booze better than piss-water. To do that, we gotta drain the basement. To do that, we gotta get a new pump from the carpenter’s guild. To do that, we gotta get the bugs out of their super secret carpenter clubhouse cave. Easy enough, right?

No.

These bugs devoured a man.

Any sane person would turn down thus job, but sane people are boring and we need that damn pump. So off we go to the cave of death! We ran into that guy who always runs around with the orc in the bowler hat. Fun fact: he’s a friggin pyromaniac. I should’ve taken this as an omen of things to come, in retrospect…

So the brewer dwarf and I go down first. I let Oberon draw first blood. These bugs are bigger than a pig, and he ate one in seconds! Heeheehee. But this made the others mad. Before I knew it, we were swarmed. The dwarf whipped up some booze bombs which were pretty badass, not gonna lie. The sparks really started flying when the crazy magician showed up. He made these little balls of fire that cut through the bugs like a hot knife through butter! Problem was the place was filled with wood and sawdust. Kapoooosh! Up to our earlobes in toasty fire. We barely made it out of the pyroclasm (fancy word, eh?), but the bugs were less than fortunate. Mission accomplished!

Or so I thought, until the guildmaster decided to argue the terms of the agreement. They were mad about the damages. Hey, it only said to get rid of the bugs. But he just went on with “oh, but now I’m out of business, boo hoo” Some people… On the bright side, we got new work. It’s from the Duke of Larry, so you can trust him to pay up, and pay well.

Also, I taught the blasty mage the value of money. I told’em it was magic and he was sold. Hey, it’s not a total lie. I can always use another ally in the quest for tons of booty!

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Geppetto

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