Siege of Exterrea

Rizzi: River Boats and a Big Racist Dragon!

I gotta say, I didn’t see this little mission going the way it did!

So the Duke of Ted’s a dragon. A friggin’ dragon! And a big’un too! He seemed to really like us… by which I mean he really liked me. I know it’s because I’m simply irresistible and command awe and respect, though him being old and racist favoring little Corvine girls maybe helped a little too. Hey, I’m no little girl, but even I’m not bold enough to argue with a giant dragon!

he’ll make an excellent ally against the other dukes

Oh yeah, I got side-tracked! So we got to the Ted-dragon by boat. But not just any boat. It was a tour boat of the acid swamps. Sounded soooo boring, until I saw that the thing had huge crossbow thingies on it! I manned one of those so I wouldn’t have to row if the situation arose

We saw the pleasure boat of the Duke of Larry, along with some of the other dukes and those assholes We also saw a mermaid kick a monkey dude’s ass! She’s also the shopkeeper at the souvenir shop and totally made this trip worth while! I’ll laugh every time I eat an orange now.

So we give the dragon the letter. Guess what, geniuses? Nobody bothered to read it. I figured at least one person around here would know how to forge a duke’s seal… well, if you want to blackmail your enemies someday, you’ll have to do it yourself Turns out the flirty chick and the stain-sucker with the bowler hat royally screwed us out of our reward money, and maybe even our lives if it wasn’t for the dragon’s ambiguous bias kindness. Those assholes are gonna pay. Messed with the wrong glaive-weilding badass.

We got some deer statues that teleport you to the Bolting Buck. Now that’s some trippy magic right there. It’ll be useful, though a liability if fallen into the wrong hands. We also missed another reward: the Landon guy is slippery as an eel. No wonder he can put up with that stick-in-the-mud marshal.

So… we’re still broke. How are we gonna build my bar/guild hall/fortress of domination/den of sin at this rate!?



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